Welcome, welcome, one and all to the beautiful, botanical, magical, mystical, floral and faunical Zanto’s Zoological Gardens!
Step right up to see the wonders that walk within these walls. Never-before-seen creatures, never to be seen anywhere else! Prepare to be terrified by the hideous beasts within!
Our first exhibit is the Poppillion. He may look cute and friendly now, but that’s only because he’s just a poppy. When he grows up, he’ll be one of the most vicious beasts in our menagerie.
I h-opium he doesn’t scare you too badly.
Sorry for the disappointment.
Perhaps our next exhibit will be sufficiently scary for you.
Next up we have the Pink Pytheony. This creature is the most deadly garden snake ever discovered, and is known for its ability to lure unsuspecting prey right into its nest.
See what I mean, folks? I don’t recommend taking it up on that offer unless you’d like to be the main course.
Let’s move on to the Bearded Iris Dragon, then. But I warn you, kids usually leave this exhibit in tears…if at all.
Very well. Since you have such particular tastes, I will allow you to see our most dangerous, most frightening creature. One we normally keep away from visitors, due to its terrifying nature. Are you sure your family is ready for what lies ahead?
I can’t introduce it by name, because in truth we have no idea what this next creature is, only that it was found after a meteor crashed to earth.
I recommend you keep your children close, and prepare yourself for nightmares tonight. Most who have laid eyes upon it have trouble sleeping…
Sigh. There’s just no pleasing thorny customers.