I know my jokes can be a bit cheesy at times – even a little saucy – but the joy I get from making them crust can’t be topped. I put a pizza my heart in every one, even if sometimes the delivery falls flat. So, thanks for reading. It’s been a slice!
It has come to our attention that some visitors to the aquarium have been making fun of our majestic sea creatures.
I will remind you that sharks and sting rays have their eyes on top of their heads. It is their nostrils that are located on the bottom.
They do not like being told they have “funny faces.”
Sharks have excellent eyesight, so don’t think you can get away with mocking them.
These are deadly sea creatures, folks. Trust me when I say you don’t want to make them angry.
So, while I’m sure many of us have been gill-ty of this offense in the past, I hope that in the future, you’ll churn over a new leaf and treat these animals like the dignified and sofishticated creatures they are.
Bringing the Heat
Welcome to amateur comedy night, where we’ve invited our guests to bring their spiciest jokes. Put your hands together for our first comedian, Pete Zabox!
Handle With Care
Hubs has been doing some work around the house lately, and while I think our new kitchen fixtures look great, I’m pretty sure our cupboards have a different opinion.
Aw, it’s okay, buddy. We all know change is hard.
“Hey, so I know we promised to look at new kitchen fixtures today, but this place is weirding me out. I feel like I’m being watched.”
“Yeah. Okay. Seriously, though…do you think they have hidden cameras or something? Because It feels like somebody’s eyes are on me.”
“You’re right. I must be imagining things. But I swear something here is creeping me out, big time.”
“Okay, fine, if only because it means I can leave. Those ones. For some reason, I have a good feeling about them.”
Hitting Rock Bottom
There once was a girl from a place
Who climbed mountains at quite a quick pace
One time she fell down
By some stones with a frown:
She got stuck ‘tween a rock and hard face.
Happy National Creme Brulee Day
There’s a process I’d like to condemn,
It can cause all sorts of mayhem,
If you don’t do it right,
It can cause a fright,
When you don’t properly brûlée your crème.
Okay folks, it’s time! We’re finally being called up and put into action. Are you ready for this?
What? No! There won’t be cookies. This isn’t the dark side, this is a model. Now, come on and get working.
Excellent. That’s the kind of enthusiasm I want to see.
Is there a problem, Geary?
It’s okay, I’m sure no one will notice.
All right, are we ready now?
Let’s go, Gear Force!
What a Crock!
Having to cook everyday creates a lot of pressure. Having to find meals that suit everyone leaves me steamed. It’s like a slow burn, simmering under the surface. Especially since it seems like everyone and everything has something to say about my cooking.
There once was a log who did try
To sneak into a party on the sly.
But people turned him away
Didn’t let him stay.
A real shame, ‘cause he’s such a fungi.