Celebrating 100 Posts!

I know my jokes can be a bit cheesy at times – even a little saucy – but the joy I get from making them crust can’t be topped. I put a pizza my heart in every one, even if sometimes the delivery falls flat. So, thanks for reading. It’s been a slice!

Close up of pizza covered in vegetables and pineapple. A pineapple chunk with singed bits that look like eyes and a mouth asks, "Who puts pineapple on a veggie pizza?" A tomato slice that looks like it's grinning answers, "A real weird-dough" (spelled d-o-u-g-h.)
Two round wrapped cheeses sitting above a wrapped cheese stick to form a 'meh' face. Eyebrows and pupils have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I hate you."

Sea-ing Faces


It has come to our attention that some visitors to the aquarium have been making fun of our majestic sea creatures.

Bottom view of a sting ray, whose nostrils look like eyes over a 'meh' mouth. Speech bubble says, "Ouch! That really stings!"

I will remind you that sharks and sting rays have their eyes on top of their heads. It is their nostrils that are located on the bottom.

They do not like being told they have “funny faces.”

Bottom of a shark's head. Nostils look like sad eyes over a sad mouth. Eyebrows have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "That makes me feel jaw-ful."

Sharks have excellent eyesight, so don’t think you can get away with mocking them.

Saw tooth shark with angry-looking nostrils "eyes" and mouth. Angry eyebrows have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I saw that!"

These are deadly sea creatures, folks. Trust me when I say you don’t want to make them angry.

Great White shark with angry nostril "eyes" and mouth full of teeth. Speech bubble says, "It's all fin and games until somebody loses an arm."

So, while I’m sure many of us have been gill-ty of this offense in the past, I hope that in the future, you’ll churn over a new leaf and treat these animals like the dignified and sofishticated creatures they are.

Store Stares

“Hey, so I know we promised to look at new kitchen fixtures today, but this place is weirding me out. I feel like I’m being watched.”

Wall of drawer pulls and handles with two round knob "eyes" over a handle "mouth." Text box at bottom reads, "You can handle this."

“Yeah. Okay. Seriously, though…do you think they have hidden cameras or something? Because It feels like somebody’s eyes are on me.”

Another wall of handles and pulls. This time with two faces: knob eyes and noses over handle mouths. Pupils have been doodled in for emphasis. Text box reads, "Get a grip. Nobody's watching you."

“You’re right. I must be imagining things. But I swear something here is creeping me out, big time.”

Yet another wall. This time three faces of varying creepiness are made out of pulls and handles. White pupils added for emphasis. Text box reads, "Pull yourself together and pick something!"

“Okay, fine, if only because it means I can leave. Those ones. For some reason, I have a good feeling about them.”

Happy face made of pulls and a handle. Text box reads, "Done."

Gearing Up

Okay folks, it’s time! We’re finally being called up and put into action. Are you ready for this?

Wooden sheet with cut-out gears for a model. Two empty oval spaces sit about a jagged empty trapezoid. Googly eyeballs have been doodled into the ovals, making it look like cookie monster. A speech bubble says, "Will there be cookies?"

What? No! There won’t be cookies. This isn’t the dark side, this is a model. Now, come on and get working.

More gear cut-outs. Two spiral gears sit over the empty space of toothed gear making a ZOMG face. Muppet-flail arms  have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "ZOMG! I've been waiting my whole life for this!"

Excellent. That’s the kind of enthusiasm I want to see.

Is there a problem, Geary?

Circle with an empty space that looks like a ship's steering wheel. Above it are two empty circles with doodled pupils. A circle within a circle sits beside the 
mouth." Speech bubble says, "Why so I always get a pimple on the big day?"

It’s okay, I’m sure no one will notice.

All right, are we ready now?

Toothed gear with smaller circles inside that look like eyes. Eyebrows and stick arms have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I'm ready! Let's go!"


Let’s go, Gear Force!


Wooden clock with visible gears, doodled to look like an owl. Speech bubble says, "Owl right! Now that's what I'm talking about!"

What a Crock!

Having to cook everyday creates a lot of pressure. Having to find meals that suit everyone leaves me steamed. It’s like a slow burn, simmering under the surface. Especially since it seems like everyone and everything has something to say about my cooking.

Pressure cooker whose steam valve looks like an eye and knob looks like a monocle. Fancy moustache has been doodled on top of handle. Speech bubble says, in fancy text, "Pardon me, Does this recipe have any Grey Poupon?"