I’m Still Here (Sort of)

So sorry to disappear on everyone, but back at the end of November I hit my head and got a concussion, and I’ve been off screens ever since. Such a shame, since I was working on a bunch of great Xmas posts.

I’m even sorrier to say, I’m not really back. Screens are still hard on my head, so I have to limit how much I use them, and since you can’t really write a blog without them…


I’m not shutting down completely.

I’ll still be back to make occasional posts. After all, it’s not like I’ll stop seeing faces everywhere. But my posts won’t come on a schedule.

So, if you want to stay in the loop, I suggest you subscribe to the RSS feed so you won’t miss any posts.

This isn’t goodbye, but it is so long for now.

Half a jalapeno pepper that looks like it has a wailing mouth.  Sad eyes and tear drops have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I thought jalapenos were supposed to make you cry, not the other way around."

Keeping an Eye on You

Attention, readers! We have taken over this blog to point out an extreme injustice. This blog has shown an unfair preference for faces of the binocular variety. We monocles-

Silver Birch tree with knot holes that look like a single large eye centered over a mouth. Grumpy eyebrows and arms have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Um, Iris? Monocles are already a thing. You can't call us that."

Okay, sorry.

We uni-eyes-

Interior of a computer. A large circle "eye" sits above a rectangular mouth. Speech bubble says, "Really? Uni-eye? How do you expect them to take us seriously?"


We of the “only-one-eye” variety-

One round leafy plant "eye" over a smiling tulip leaf "mouth." Eyeball has been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I think the word you're looking for is cyclops."

Right. Fine.

We cyclopses-

Another silver birch tree with dark knots that look like a grumpy cyclops face.  Arms with hands on hips have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Cyclopes. The plural of cyclops is cyclopes."

You know what? I give up. Maybe we don’t deserve a spot on this blog. I’m outta here.

Playground with a clear round dome that looks like an eye over a square window that looks like a mouth. Arms and surprised eyebrows have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Was it something we said?"

Emotional Post

Good morning, everyone. Thank you for coming out to our Emoji Stand-In Auditions. As you already know, our current emojis have been working hard, and would like the chance for a break, so we’re hoping to find some lookalikes to temporarily take over for smaller appearances: texts, DMs, that kind of thing.

Let’s see who’s first. Shocked?

Not bad. There are a few key differences, though that might make it obvious you’re not the original.

Wooden circle from a model kit, with two large circle eyes, a jagged circle mouth, and a smaller circle "beauty mark" beside the mouth. Speech bubble says, "I can't help it, it's a beauty mark!"

Be that as it may, it’s not your only identifying feature. *CoughMouthCough*

Unfortunately this is a very subjective business, and we owe it to our clients to only cast actors who will be able to replace them unnoticed.

Moving on.

Let’s see WTF.

All right, I can kind of see the resemblance, but I think you’re missing a few key features. Like a head.

Who’s next? Sad? Go ahead.

Now we’re getting closer. Not bad shape, decent brow work, colour’s a bit off, but we could work with that…

Can you cry on demand? Let’s see some tears.

Same sad pickle face. Speech bubble says, "I'm not really much of a crier."

Well, sorry, but I’m afraid you’re out. Can’t have a sad emoji who can’t cry.


Somebody give me something happy.

You’ve got the expression down pat. Come back when you’ve taken care of those wrinkles. Maybe see if you can get a colour enhancement while you’re at it. Then we’ll talk.

Right. I think that wraps up our auditions for today. Thanks for coming out. While we didn’t manage to cast any lookalikes today, a few of you made strong showings. Keep practicing, get some work done, and maybe we’ll be seeing you in texts soon!