(Parody of Five Little Pumpkins)
Five haunted tree trunks in the neighborhood,
The first one is a mummy made of wood,
The second one says, “Would you like to have some fun?”
The third one says, “It’s time for you to run,”
The fourth one likes to howl and shriek and yell,
The fifth one is a demon straight from Hell,
Ooh-Ooh goes the wind,
In darkness of night
And the five haunted tree trunks give you a fright.
Hubs: Oh hey u done cleaning?
Me: Vacuum’s haunted.
Hubs: What?
Me: *loading a pistol and getting back to the living room* Vacuum’s haunted.
(Parody of The Addams Family theme song)
They're creepy and they're ghoulish, Mysterious, not foolish, They're altogether cruel-ish, The shadows are eerie. The tree is skeletal and. The monster is quite tall and It’s definitely Fall and The shadows are eerie. Weird Feared Revered So get a flashlight quick A match and candlestick. It’s not a magic trick The shadows are eerie.
I know I promised a month of Halloween posts, but today is Thanksgiving here in Canada, so it feels like I should post something turkey-related. So, in true Franken-spirit, I have combined the two. Behold, my two best (worst?) Halloween turkey jokes and an image that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
They become poultry-geists.
Gobblins.
(Parody of Somebody’s Watchin’ Me by Rockwell)
I’m just an average girl, with an average life, Taking care of my kids, oh yeah, kicka** housewife. All I want is to be left alone, everywhere I roam, But why do I always feel Like I’m in the Twilight Zone? I always feel like something is watching me And I have no privacy I always feel like something is watching me Is it just a dream? When I go out at night I sometimes get a fright People shopping in the store I'm trying to avoid Or can the stock on the shelving see me, Or am I just paranoid?
When I order takeout, I'm afraid to eat my food Cause I might open my bag and find dinner in a mood.
People say I'm crazy, just a little touch But have you ever heard of pareidolia much? That's why... I always feel like something is watching me And I have no privacy I always feel like something is watching me Where will the faces be? I don't know anymore! Are the houses watching me?
Tell me what's watching And I don't feel safe anymore, am I a ditz? I wonder what's watching me now What? Some dinner bits?!
I always feel like something is watching me And I have no privacy I always feel like something is watching me Tell me is it just a dream? I always feel like something is watching me And I have no privacy I always feel like something is watching me Where will the faces be? I always feel like something is watching me Oooh, whoa-oa-oa I always feel like something is watching me Tell me, can it be? I always feel like something is watching me
…but never a Monster Car.
Something about this picture is bugging me. Just got this creeping feeling there’s more here than meets the eye. Maybe if I divide it insections? Nope. Ugh. This kind of failure just can’t fly. I guess I’ll just have to pray for forgiveness.
On second thought, never mind. I’m sure someone will jump in the comments to mantisplain.
Sometimes I think the faces I see are like some kind of Rorschach Test, providing a window into my deepest thoughts.
Like this duck’s foot (flipper?) print.
Perfectly normal duck print.
Or is it a cartoony ghost?
Of course, that’s only if you look at in that direction. If you turn it, you get something else entirely.
But wait, there’s more. Looking at it from another angle, I see, look at that. Another ghost.
And, of course, we have to check out the final direction.
Two words:
Vampire Elvis.
Now, some of you may think this means I need therapy. (Fair.) But to the rest of you, it’s probably obvious what my problem is:
So prepare for a month of creepy crawly, unearthly, haunted, and/or horrifying posts.
(de)Face It 