Alien Concept

August 31, 2022August 24, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

This just in.

It’s being reported that aliens have begun an invasion of earth.

These creatures are tricky and excellent at camouflage, but we have a few photos.

This first one was spotted at a nearby swamp, prompting scientists to dub it “The Marsh-an.”

Morning glory flower with two vines that look like eye stalks. Eyeballs have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Take me to your weeder."

This next one was spotted under water. Judging by its defiant attitude in mocking the photographer, it should definitely be considered an anemone to humankind.

Pink shaggy sea anemone that looks like it's sticking out a tongue. Eyeballs have been doodled in. — *Thanks to LE Callard for spotting this one.*

I’m not going to beat about the bush here: we are in danger.

Some aliens have even been spotted hiding close to people’s homes.

Shaggy bush in a planter box with round decorations that look like eyeballs. Speech bubble says, "E Tree phone home."

And, even worse, in playgrounds.

Playground equipment with colourful semi-spheres with two screws at the top that look like aliens. Speech bubble says, "We think playgrounds are out of this world!" — *Photo submitted by MJ Blakely*

We cannot let this slide!

If you spot an alien in your neighbourhood, do not approach. Give them space.

All sightings are to be reported to your local X-Files division.

I know this situation feel scary, folks, but if we all work together we can overcomet!

Celebrating 100 Posts!

August 26, 2022August 9, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

I know my jokes can be a bit cheesy at times – even a little saucy – but the joy I get from making them crust can’t be topped. I put a pizza my heart in every one, even if sometimes the delivery falls flat. So, thanks for reading. It’s been a slice!

Close up of pizza covered in vegetables and pineapple. A pineapple chunk with singed bits that look like eyes and a mouth asks, "Who puts pineapple on a veggie pizza?" A tomato slice that looks like it's grinning answers, "A real weird-dough" (spelled d-o-u-g-h.)

Two round wrapped cheeses sitting above a wrapped cheese stick to form a 'meh' face. Eyebrows and pupils have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I hate you."

Sea-ing Faces

August 24, 2022August 19, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

Ahem.

It has come to our attention that some visitors to the aquarium have been making fun of our majestic sea creatures.

Bottom view of a sting ray, whose nostrils look like eyes over a 'meh' mouth. Speech bubble says, "Ouch! That really stings!"

I will remind you that sharks and sting rays have their eyes on top of their heads. It is their nostrils that are located on the bottom.

They do not like being told they have “funny faces.”

Bottom of a shark's head. Nostils look like sad eyes over a sad mouth. Eyebrows have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "That makes me feel jaw-ful."

Sharks have excellent eyesight, so don’t think you can get away with mocking them.

Saw tooth shark with angry-looking nostrils "eyes" and mouth. Angry eyebrows have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "I saw that!"

These are deadly sea creatures, folks. Trust me when I say you don’t want to make them angry.

Great White shark with angry nostril "eyes" and mouth full of teeth. Speech bubble says, "It's all fin and games until somebody loses an arm."

So, while I’m sure many of us have been gill-ty of this offense in the past, I hope that in the future, you’ll churn over a new leaf and treat these animals like the dignified and sofishticated creatures they are.

Bringing the Heat

August 17, 2022July 26, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

Welcome to amateur comedy night, where we’ve invited our guests to bring their spiciest jokes. Put your hands together for our first comedian, Pete Zabox!

Open Pizza box that looks like a face. Eyebrows have been doodled over vent hole "eyes". Speech bubbles say, "Why did the cayenne put on a sweater?' and "Because it was a little chili."

Confused looking red pepper says, "I don't get it."

Pizza box again. Speech bubbles say, "Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?" and "Because it didn't habanero."

Confused pepper again saying, "I don't get it."

Pizza box again. Speech bubbles say, "How do you figure out how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?" and "Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now."

Closed pizza box looks dejected. Speech bubble says, "I hate it when my jokes fall flat."

A Bald Move

August 15, 2022August 3, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

Once, a bald man at a bash,

Bragged to all in a manner quite rash,

“No hair is as fine,

As can compete with mine!”

Referring, of course, to his glorious mustache.

Garden hose holder with screws that look like eyes and a nose, looped hose is a long mustache. Speech bubble says, "I comb, I saw, I conquered."

Hitting Rock Bottom

August 1, 2022July 26, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

There once was a girl from a place

Who climbed mountains at quite a quick pace

One time she fell down

By some stones with a frown:

She got stuck ‘tween a rock and hard face.

Rock wall with stones that look like two eyes, a nose and mouth. Eyeballs and angry eyebrows have been doodled in. Speech bubble says, "Looks like your hike is off to a rocky start."

What a Crock!

July 18, 2022July 10, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

Having to cook everyday creates a lot of pressure. Having to find meals that suit everyone leaves me steamed. It’s like a slow burn, simmering under the surface. Especially since it seems like everyone and everything has something to say about my cooking.

Pressure cooker whose steam valve looks like an eye and knob looks like a monocle. Fancy moustache has been doodled on top of handle. Speech bubble says, in fancy text, "Pardon me, Does this recipe have any Grey Poupon?"

Party Pooper

July 15, 2022July 9, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

There once was a log who did try

To sneak into a party on the sly.

But people turned him away

Didn’t let him stay.

A real shame, ‘cause he’s such a fungi.

Log covered in shelf-like fungus. At the top it looks like a happy face. Speech bubble says, "Don't worry. People may not always like me at first, but eventually I grow on them."

When Life Gets Too In-Tents…

July 13, 2022July 9, 2022 / K. Callard / Leave a comment

…And s’more and s’more problems seem to keep coming at you, when your brain feels like it’s on fire, camping is a great way to relieve the tent-sion. To be honest, I think I could do it forest of my life.